2010. The journey continues.

I've been building up the life I planned to build. I guess I am almost surprised that I can begin to taste some degree of success. I have been so busy I can hardly take a breath, boxed in on all sides with requests for my time and energy and emotions and even thoughts.

And now, it is super bowl Sunday. My phone is silent. I have been invited to a few parties but my social energy is a shallow reserve and was already used up for this weekend at the UFC party I went to. Suddenly I find myself home, alone, with a bunch of fresh fruits and vegetables to eat and a few hours to just do anything I want to do. And so, I will write you a letter.

This afternoon in yoga the teacher exhorted us to pick a dedication for our practice. I dedicated it to my Mother, my Father, my Grandma, my Sister. These are the people who I dedicated my practice to, because these are the people who are my A-team. They are far away, and yet they are with me everywhere I go. I am thinking of them and I know they are thinking of me. They are not just my family, they are also my friends.

There were other friends in the yoga room, today too. I could feel their energy. Candace in the corner, I met her at Crossfit and instantly felt like I had known her forever. It didn't take much to get her coming to yoga. Jen behind me, someone who I met while slicing pizza but who has become my accomplice in all things outdoorsy... we've been kayaking, hiking, and camping together and she has promised to teach me fly fishing. Up in the front, Bree, my new friend and massage therapist. She is here on assignment from me, since we trade her massage skills for my personal training skills. I can see her grin in the mirror. Master Dan, next to me, he is here for the first time today. He is a no-gi Jiu Jitsu instructor who has been taking the time to train me on Sundays to help me with my skills. He doesn't really go by Master Dan but his students come into OTM Fight Shop where I work every day now and drop his name as such. "Master Dan said to mention his name to you." *eyebrow wiggle* *pause* "He said you might give us discount...?" The yoga class has not started yet. I look over at Dan to give him a reassuring smile, as yoga can be a little intimidating when you are new to it. He needed no such smile. He was folded with his ankles locked all the way behind his head and his arms sticking out in front of his legs like a human slipknot. "Jzoooo jzeeetsu yoooga!" he whispered in his thick Brazilian accent.

I spent 40-eleven dollars today at the farmer's market, all on local, organic, small farmed produce. I got sun dried preservative free raisins, pink lady and honeycrisp apples, some fruit I can't remember the name of that's supposed to taste like custard, little organic strawberries and kumquats, which go well with the raw macadamia nuts I got last time. I got kale and broccolini, and sugar snap peas to dip in my favorite farmer's market item: fresh made jalapeno cilantro hummus. I got super green juice with flax and bananas to mix with my protein powder, and a sack of avocados (8 for $5). I didn't have enough money to buy any mushrooms, which are locally grown and looked worth the high price. I sampled cucumbers, pita chips and ceviche, baby heirloom tomatoes, and pepper jack cheese from my home-land, Sonoma County. I desperately wanted to buy more, but my bag was full, my time was running out and so was my money. I spent my last dollar on an organic coffee and ran to the car with a sack full of good health, and the satisfaction of a vote well spent with my money on the importance of good food and good farming. Ever since I got home from jiu jitsu and yoga today I've been snacking on raw, whole fruits, vegetables, and nuts. I feel blessed. I love Sundays.

I finally broke down and counted up all my hours from all three of my jobs and from my working out (which I consider a job as it is necessary for my desired career path to continue). It turns out that during the month of January I have been clocked in at work for approximately 47-50 hours per week and working out for approximately 13-15 hours a week. Considering that I still need to sleep for 8 hours a night to be functional, and the fact that there's only 168 hours in the week to begin with... the time flies by. Weeks seem like days to me.

All that time talk reminds me of a quote from a book by C.S. Lewis that my Mom and I are reading together. "...irreversible entropy gives time a real direction..." and yet I don't feel in in a state of entropy, I feel like I am finally opening up my petals. Slooooowwwwwwly, but surely, I am climbing, up and up, I can feel my momentum now as the path gradually becomes less steep and precarious, my footing becomes more sure, and the view becomes more rewarding.

Well my dear friends and family, I could keep writing and writing. I miss you and want to share the funny little details of my life. I hope you can begin to see the picture I am trying to paint. I am growing, I am learning, I am becoming...